Summary:
A priest and a woman on the threshold of her final vows are sent to Romania to investigate a mysterious death at a monastery.
My Thoughts:
I have a weird relationship with the Conjuring series universe. I don’t mind the Conjuring movies themselves, but the spinoff stuff has been a bit lacking. The two films directed by James Wan actually have some merit: they talk about faith in the face of evil, they talk about the possibilities of phony exorcisms and demonic possessions, and they have some genuinely frightening moments. They aren’t perfect films- the third acts tend to blow up to the point of ridiculousness- but that seems to be what mainstream horror audiences like, so I can’t really blame the makers too much. In regards to the first two films, I can forgive some small flaws in logic for a story that makes sense overall, and for a setting that feels grounded and still spooky.
This film does not take the grounded approach to its story. This film doesn’t take a logical approach to the story either. In fact, I’m not really sure what the creators of this story were trying to do. The story they told was silly and it really did nothing to expand the Conjuring universe. There were huge plot holes that were just brushed over as if they were trivial details. The character motivations made absolutely no sense, nor did many of the character relationships or backstories.
Really, the only thing that made this movie even slightly memorable was the design of the convent where the action took place. Certain sections of the convent looked cool. It was set in the mountains and looked as if it taken design elements from “Black Narcissus”- and for that I give it props. However, certain areas of the convent, when thought about logically,make little sense. For example: why on earth are the lower levels of the convent perpetually shrouded in fog? How often does fog form inside? And why would the nuns have a door labeled “God Ends Here”- doesn’t that negate their belief that God is omnipresent?
Some other logic issues came with the story itself. The main one being that Sister Irene’s (Taissa Farminga, “American Horror Story”) reason for being selected to go to Romania is because the Vatican believes she’s from Romania. She immediately corrects them, saying she’s never been there, and they insist on sending her anyways even though she’s not yet taken her vows for being a nun. Father Burke (Demian Birchir, “The Hateful Eight”) explains this away by saying that God has a reason for everything. After that, Sister Irene does almost nothing to help Father Burke in his investigation- she just shows up when things are about to get scary. As the film drew to a close I wondered why would the Vatican send someone who is not even a nun to assist in a paranormal investigation? What purpose did Irene serve at all in this story? Actually, take this a step further- what was the point of this film? It didn’t expand the universe or expand on the existing characters anymore, it pretty much just told us things we already knew.
This movie was a blatant cash grab, and it becomes obvious that that’s all it was after the first thirty minutes. Characters aren’t developed; they’re just thrust into spooky scenarios. The spooky scenarios aren’t thought through, so many times the things happening aren’t scary; they’re silly. The plot itself is so thin and ill-conceived that it became obvious the only thing that they had to work with was the creepy nun from “The Conjuring 2”. A creepy character does not automatically give you a creepy horror story, and this film illustrates that incredibly well.
Alternatively, while the plot is pretty silly, at least Taissa Farminga can sort of act. She might not be winning any Oscars anytime soon, but at least her acting is believable enough to keep me somewhat engaged. Demian Bichir did fine too, I guess.
Verdict:
I’ve seen most of the Conjuring films at this point (I missed “Annabelle: Creation”), and I’m sure I’ll see them all at some point. They aren’t the greatest horror films in the world, but they’re better than the latest entry in the Saw franchise or the newest reboot of “Friday the Thirteenth”. In general I like horror films, and this series is probably the most mainstream horror franchise out there right now, and some of its entries are actually worth a watch. “The Nun” might be a miss, but I haven’t completely given up hope on The Conjuring series.
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