Summary
Jon is a New Jersey dream son and friend. He values work, family, and church, but, unbeknownst to his new girlfriend Barbara, pornography has shaped much of how he views relationships and women and he’s only beginning to realize what those effects are.
The Film
“Don Jon” stands out, not because of the great acting, though it is good, or the plot of the story, though that too is perfectly crafted to highlight the film’s themes. No, it stands out because it is about Porn and there are not that many movies out there that deal with porn in a serious and realistic way.
Since you are reading this review on the internet, I’m going to assume that you are quite aware of the proliferation of pornography over the last several decades but especially it’s explosion with the advent of online distribution. I remember hearing my dad warn me off “porno” as he called it when I was younger but I could never have imagined the role that something which seemed as innocuous as pictures of attractive women in their underwear would eventually take as I grew older and discovered more content as the internet made pornography so mainstream that the names and faces of porn-stars are more recognizable to many men and women that they probably know them better than pop-stars. Even people who choose not to view porn live in a world that has been changed by its ready availability to everyone else.
I, for one, was not so lucky as to escape Porn’s grip and I have struggled with a pretty serious pornography addiction since I was 14. For many, whether they consider it an addiction, hobby, or just way to pass an extra 20 min, pornography is an integral part of their life, yet we rarely get movies that even acknowledge its existence let alone its prevalence. Just making this one of the main subjects of the film may make “Don Jon” unique or at the very least unusual but that doesn’t make it good. What makes it good is the way that the film deals with pornography in a serious way and feels realistic.
Everyone has had the experience of watching a film set in an industry, location, or social context with which we are more familiar than the average movie goer and thought, “That isn’t how it is at all.” I remember when “ER” was on the air or “House” and there would always be stories of doctors debunking the way that things happened on the show. Sure it was entertaining to we the medically illiterate masses but to doctors, it was frustrating to watch your own profession be so misrepresented at times.
That is what I expected the first time I saw “Don Jon.” Like I said, I’ve been fighting an addiction to pornography for a long time so it is, unfortunately, a world with which I am familiar.
The main reason I like this film is that when Jon (Joseph Gordon-Levitt, “Looper”) is monologue-ing over montages of his night time activities, it was like the film had found pages of my old journals and lifted them for the screenplay. As Jon begins a relationship with a girl named Barbara (Scarlett Johansson, “Her”) that turns serious his compartmentalization of church, relationship, and porn rang true. When someone confronts him on his usage and the psychological effects it may be having it was like I was sitting in therapy all over again.
Tarkovsky (my favorite director) wrote about art that it is an expression of a human soul and you know true art not by whether it makes millions at the box office, finds cult acclaim, or even entertains. You know true art when you see it because you see a person’s experiences and soul on the screen and it speaks to yours in a way that makes you think, “Thank God. I thought I was the only one who felt that. I am not alone” By that standard, “Don Jon” is great art to me. It may not be doing amazing things in its plot, scene structure, cinematography, or dialogue but they all feel right for the film and emotion that is being explored.
I’d love to say that this film cured me of my addiction but it didn’t. It did make me feel less alone, though, and with a drug, alcohol, sex, or pornography addiction there is a fair amount of power it holds simply by making you feel isolated. “Don Jon” takes a couple good whacks with hammer and chisel at that isolating wall and for those who are imprisoned within, it helps to know you aren’t alone.
I highly recommend this film for a couple different groups of people. The first is people like me who made some easy and attractive choices when we were young that started us on a dark and lonely road which we will likely be walking forever in one form or another. The second is for family or friends of people, who struggle with pornography, and who they look down on for it, are disappointed in them for it, or even just want to understand their loved one’s struggle more fully.
This film is certainly not the last word on the subject and isn’t some cure-all for an addiction or salve for relationships that have been injured by deception and unrealistic expectations/standards but it may help some people have a slightly easier time with some hard discussions that they know they should have but haven’t. It may help people see the potential dangers of this lifestyle choice and it may even help some people who felt like there was no hope, find a little trickle of light spilling slightly through a new crack in their prison wall.
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