Resolve
Last week, I shared a bit about my struggles with discipline and my efforts to grow in that regard not just in life but in my media choices as well. As I continue in my own growth as a cinephile and human being, I find there is a lot of crossover between my spiritual struggles and disciplines and the disciplines I am attempting to build into my media life. Just as in an attempt to lose weight, find new employment, or learn a language one must first set their resolve toward that end the first big step for me in my media discipline has been developing a sense of intentionality about what I watch.
Now, I will be the first to admit that this is a sense that I have developed late in life but it is one that under-girds almost all of the other discipline building ideas that I use. In spiritual terms, I am referring to my resolve to strive to be Christ-like through my life choices. In media, I am referring to my resolve to grow as a human being through my viewing choices.
This may be different than other peoples goals in media which may range from being the foremost authority on a particular director, a completionist of the Criterion Collection, or championing a particularly marginalized group through supporting their art. Whatever the goal may be, if we hope to make steps toward it, we must first know where it is we are hoping to end up or we will end up simply riding our own personal whims. This may be fine for some out there but when I simply “follow my bliss” I end up being very self destructive. To be clear, I am not saying that I intend to NEVER watch a movie for pure entertainment or even to indulge in a bit of escapism from time to time. What I am saying is that I want to balance that natural impulse with another more healthy one.
This is not the same as goal setting. That comes later. This is more about setting an ethos or philosophy. It may morph in the future or fill out as I go but it isn’t the sort of thing that I will ever “accomplish” any more than I will ever be done “making healthy choices.” This something that I believe many people intuitively understand.
I hear it all the time when they say things like, “that’s just too much work,” “I don’t like reading, that’s why I watch movies,” or “When I see a movie I just want to turn my brain off.” These people understand that setting a goal and thinking about what they are going to watch instead of just going from the gut will take work, time, and most likely money that could have been spent on ephemeral enjoyments.
This is nothing for us to make fun of them for either. Not everyone has to look to media for their enlightenment (hopefully they are pursuing that elsewhere in their lives). This is one area where I have gone wrong in the past and still do at times. There is a tendency for me to judge others for not spending the time to get to know their media and how it affects them or engage in a deep way with it. I may believe that is a mistake, especially as the world grows more media saturated and we take in more media than food in this country, but it is their mistake to make just the same as I made the mistake of eating Arby’s 3 times a week for several months. It isn’t up to me to shout or argue them into my own cinematic journey. It is for them to direct themselves. It is for them to set their own intentions and no one can do it for them.
It is for me to set mine and no one will do it for me. It won’t happen by accident., it won’t happen without deliberate choice, and it won’t happen unless I thoughtfully consider my intention and set my resolve firmly, maybe writing it down or tattooing it on the inside of my eyelids.
It might be something as public as stating in a blog-post what my intentions are and inviting my community to watch, comment, and hold me accountable as I continue to grow.
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