Summary:
Godzilla attacks New York and an earthworm scientist tries to stop him.
My Thoughts:
Oh, boy…
So, brief story time before I jump into this review. When I saw this trailer, way back in 1998, I thought this movie looked like the coolest thing since shaved ice (I was eight, mind you). I wanted to see this movie so badly that I begged my parents to take me to see it. They wouldn’t let me go because it was rated PG-13, but they did allow my brother and I to rent more than a dozen dubbed Godzilla VHSes from the Video Master down the street, and my interest in Godzilla grew into what I now consider an embarrassing obsession. Eventually my parents did let me see this movie, and it lived up to my eight-year-old expectations.
At the time, I thought this movie was one of the best things ever.
Well, it’s been probably ten to fifteen years since I last watched this film, and since then my grasp of cinema has evolved (slightly). As I prepared to watch this movie again, knowing full well that I would be spoiling a childhood favorite, I actually grew rather excited. I knew this movie would not be great, but I still remembered a ton of the film from when I watched it as a child. As I fired up the film, I found that not only was I able to remember almost all of the plot points, I remembered a fair amount of the dialogue too. But, though the film was surprisingly familiar to me, I found my changed perspective cast it in an entirely new light. I found myself more bored than I had ever been while watching this, but, I also think that Emmerich was actually trying a bit more in this film as compared to some of his other huge stinkers like “Independence Day: Resurgence” or “2012”.
This movie is pretty bad, but compared to Emmerich’s other films, I’d actually say its one of the better ones, which, again, isn’t saying much (note the Two Star rating).
“Come on! It’ll be fun! It’ll be fun! It’ll be fun!”
After a giant reptile attacks a fishing boat off the coast of Japan, the US Government tracks down Dr. Niko Tatopoulos (Matthew Broderick, “Election”), a scientist who has been studying the effects of radiation on earthworms. Colonel Hicks (Kevin Dunn, “The Black Dahlia”) leads the Government on a search for the monster, while a mysterious Frenchman named Philippe Roache (Jean Reno, “Leon The Professional”) also investigates. After Godzilla hits New York, Audrey Timmonds (Maria Pitillo, “Natural Born Killers”), a wannabe reporter, works with a cameraman nicknamed Animal (Hank Azaria, “The Simpsons Movie”) to break a story about the monster, while Mayor Ebert (Michael Lerner, “Barton Fink”) wrestles with how the monster will effect his reelection.
So, first and foremost, lets talk about Emmerich in general. Emmerich is a man who loooooves his special effects. He is the poor man’s Michael Bay, in my opinion. His movies pander to the lowest common denominator; the brainless masses that flock like zombies from a George Romero movie to see the latest wave of special effects-driven destruction. Look at almost all of Emmerich’s films, and they all have one thing in common: the cool sequences of destruction are far more important than the characters, their motivations, or a coherent plot. There is a market for movies like this, and I was part of that market 20 years ago. This is a movie aimed at teenage and preteen boys; it never tries to rise above that intelligence level.
If you as a viewer can check out and just enjoy what is going on in front of you, then this movie isn’t the worst thing in the world. Compared to Emmerich’s other films I still think it’s better than “2012”, “Anonymous”, “Independence Day: Resurgence”, and “The Day After Tomorrow”, but again, that’s not saying much. After our titular monster arrives in New York, the film essentially devolves into a string of action scenes pieced together by a barely coherent plot. It’s loud; it’s stupid; but I have to admit it’s still kind of fun. The problem is that Emmerich’s directing style is so uneven, I never really know how I’m supposed to feel about anything. His tone shifts back and forth so quickly, that I never know if I’m supposed to be terrified of Godzilla, or if I should be cheering him on. Near the end, there are dozens of moments that should be incredibly intense, but our heroes make jokes constantly, for some reason Godzilla seems to be comically inept when facing only our heroes (he has no problem squashing anyone else).
As an Americanized version of “Gojira” this movie does a few things that make the cinephile in me a bit angry. For one thing, Godzilla doesn’t look like Godzilla, which is probably why Japanese Godzilla fans have dubbed Emmerich’s Godzilla GINO (Godzilla In Name Only), and it’s also why in “Godzilla: Final Wars” the real Godzilla throws this Godzilla into the Sidney Opera House and blasts him with his plasma breath. Godzilla in this movie is just a big lizard; it lacks so much of what makes the original Godzilla special, and that is this film’s biggest flaw.
Verdict:
Really, this film is nothing special. It’s far too long, there are too many side plots that have no bearing on the overall story, too many pointless scenes of destruction that do nothing to advance the film, and there are too many plot holes and tawdry character arcs. If you’re looking for dumb fun, you could find it here in droves, but know there are a thousand other movies that do dumb fun better than this.
Side Note: I found it incredibly amusing that Emmerich decided to have the NYC Mayor be a caricature of Roger Ebert and the mayor’s assistant, a caricature of Gene Siskel, a ridiculous jab that Ebert himself commented on when reviewing this film.
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